All About Anal Training!

Okay, first off half of you don't know how to breathe. The other half of you have anal ptsd or something.

What? Huh? Yeah I said it. Anal Ptsd from one bad experience where you weren't loose enough/ weren't prepared to take it in the ass/ the partner Domming you decided to push what you thought you were capable of. It was probably coming from a good place. You both decided that you wanted to do pegging. There was likely some prostate play happening beforehand, 1 finger, then 2... and all of a sudden she pulled out that strap-on and you were like, "OH FUCK. Here it goes." Your mental apprehension immediately manifested in your body, as you braced for impact, or some sort of pain. Suddenly that became your reality. She told you to relax and just let it slide in. You tried, yet your body just wouldn't let go. Your ass became so tight, you couldn't fit a toothpick in it with a hammer if you teed it up like a bat ready to knock the ball out of the park. So, your loving Domme pushed you a little, and it hurt like your anus was being torn a new one. She thought, "What a wuss, he just had 2, 3, however many fingers in his ass. He's freaking out because it's a dick and it looks big," acknowledging that it is indeed a mental obstacle. She probably thought to Herself, I'll go slowly and once he loosens up a little, he's going to love it and this'll be a great time." Just like the both of you wanted. It's like a game of buthole self sabotage and burn out! But not! You thought it was going to hurt, you felt apprehension or fear of pain, and so your body reflexively tightened up as a defense mechanism, which caused your fear to become a reality. Now each time you see a strap-on wielding Domme come near you, you now know it's going to hurt, and that first story playing in your head about when you thought it was going to hurt... and then it did hurt! Is still running the show.

Have you ever braced yourself before a roller-coaster dropped over the edge? Or almost had a car accident, and just barely avoided collision? You might notice, that when those things happen, your body tenses, and your buthole naturally automatically tightens. The same thing is happening, except, this time something is actually trying to enter your ass this time.

So how can you work on this?

1. Start small, and work your way up. Small dildos, mini ones if you have to. Use lots of lube!!!

We have to a. stretch you and b. get you past your fear of phallic shaped objects entering your ass.

Talk and communicate with your Domme. This isn't topping from the bottom. This is letting Her know how you operate, what you are struggling with, and what you think could help you. It's okay to ask for reassuring words when feeling anxious beforehand. It's even okay to ask your Domme to say extra dirty things to you if that gets you aroused enough to help your body relax right before the act! Communication is definitely key to pushing past something that you are struggling with.

2. Talk to your body, out loud, or inside your head if you prefer to. Your body is listening. Tell yourself that, it's okay to feel a little stretching. Mentally welcome that strap-on into your buthole. Breathe into that stretching feeling, release all worries about what will happen, and allow new thoughts to replace that old dialog. Tell yourself, "It is POSSIBLE for me to experience strap-on without pain. It is POSSIBLE for me to experience without pain." Repeat it to yourself. Why possible? Because your body and your subconscious know that anything is possible. We live in a realm of infinite possibilities.

You can even try this cool muscle test next time you're with a Domme. Hold your arm out straight in front of you, palm open and facing down and say, "I can experience strap-on without pain." Have your Domme push down gently on your arm using the top of your hand and wrist area as the point of pressure. Does it stay strong or does it easily get pushed down?" Then say the later phrase, "It is possible for me to experience strap-on without pain." Have your Domme push down on your arm again. Notice what happens. Our body muscle tests weak when we are not telling our truths, but tests strong when it is true. It's Kineseology 101. The mind tricks the body and the body tricks the mind because the two are not separate. Keep using "possibility" as your mantra when trying to make change happen, because the body will eventually get to a place where you are capable of what is possible.

3. Think, happy thoughts right before your Domme slides it in! "Yes I'm a good dirty slut, I'm gonna take it. It's going to feel so good." Know you'll feel a little stretch, breathe, and know it'll feel good as long as you can let go.

4. Breathe Damn-it! Seriously!!! Breathe in slowly through your nose, imagining inflating your diaphragm up with air like a balloon. Breathing into your belly. Breathe out slowly, feeling yourself drawing your anus up towards your navel, deflating like a balloon. If you don't know what deflating feels like, Imagine sucking a fart in in the office because you don't want to bother your co-workers with your crusty toot. Imagine your breath moving in a cycle down through your belly, and up and out through your mouth. This calm meditative cyclic (aka diaphragmatic) breathing will help your body to naturally relax. This breathing technique is later used in Tantra to help men retain their ejaculation, and then learn to orgasm without cumming to retain their energy resources and recharge their own vitality. (It helps you stay young, lively, and healthy.I'll blog on this another time.)

Why does breathing help? Scientifically Speaking::: This breathing technique is also one way to stimulate the vagus nerve pathway, which is one of 12 main cranial nerves that make up your entire nervous system and reduce your Nervous system's Sympathetic activity (the part of you that says fight-flight feed-breed go-go-go!), and activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System instead which causes the release of acetylcholine, GABA, dopamine, and other heart rate reducing neurotransmitters, inducing a state of calmness and emotional regulation. {Parasympathetic= good Sympathetic= no fun}

Lube. Start small. Work on your buthole ptsd. Communicate in your Kink Scene. Breathe. Talk to your body. Breathe some more.